lost my very best friend today…the one who knows me more than ANYONE else. depressed would be an understatement. and i cant stand the haters, on both “sides”. because no one but the two of us actually know the extent of the crap the she and i went through, or the times we had. at first it pissed me off but now i dont even care anymore ( i dont care about anything right now, ive never felt this way in my life). it just fucking sucks because there is now a major void in my life. i was never as happy and ive never been as sad. and whats even worse is that i know it hasnt even hit me full force yet. she was the one that i thought of first when i woke up and last when i went to sleep. i wouldve fucking died for her. well, she wasnt ready to “grow up” for lack of a better term. or, you could say that im boring and too serious. whatever, it just sucks that what could have been now will never be. the only thing im stuck wondering is this (not in reference to the relationship itself): was it really worth it?

Feb 11 2012